December 2010
32 posts
“I’m a Christian, I’ve made mistakes myself, I believe fervently in...”
– Thank you Tucker Carlson. It’s not often that one can sum up their total stupidity in less than half an hour of conversation, but you managed to do it in 5 sentences. Good on you, and keep on being fair and balanced.
Curiosity Killed the Cat
I got curious about the anonymous twatmonger that was leaving some particularly hurtful things in my askhole.
I wish to fucking jeebus I had just left things alone. That I hadn’t even looked into it.
I know the bitch. I used to think she was one of my best friends. Then, we lived together for a few weeks. The short version of the story is, she blew into town, refused to get a job,...
10 overrated things
blanddiva11:
1. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the book)
2. Jennifer Anniston
3. Many leaderboard “jokes”
4. Cilantro
5. Jersey Shore and most reality shows
6. Starbucks (even though I like some of their stuff, it is overpriced and overhyped).
7. Some family relationships
8. Forest Gump and most movies
9. A lot of designer fashion
10. Getting up early
I loved ‘Girl With The...
I’ve tried to do a year end meme, but all it keeps coming back to is:
This is the year everyone I know found out I’d broken my brain, again. And everyone stuck by me. Everyone. Especially the people that had the most reason to write me off.
Finding out you are unconditionally loved, by so many, is incredibly humbling. I promise, from here on out, to be deserving of that kind of...
2 tags
Oh, and the shot I was all dreading today?
It went really well.
I mean, it still burns and stings like hell going in (and BTW, the needle used to put it in is THREE INCHES LONG, and LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING STRAW), but there’s no bruising, no swelling, no bleeding so far.
Cross your fingers that there’s no pointless lactation.
Although, if the swollen boobs come back, I could learn to...
skibinskipedia asked: LMFAO! I couldn't even follow through on the "vulgarities"! After fully intending to type, "get your fucking shit together", I instead typed "feces assimilated". I totes fail! ;-)
Dearest Tumblr
skibinskipedia:
Thank you ever so much for rather randomly resetting all of my customizations to default; I really super-appreciate that! Usually I’m quite content to just sit back and accept all of your down time and server issues out of user / brand loyalty. But randomly resetting all theme customizations to default? Without even going anywhere near my customized code? How, pray tell, does...
advancedslacking asked: I find it amusing that you're resorting to BEING AWESOME.
Love,
Anonymous
...
I may have done that wrong.
Love,
Anonymous
...
I may have done that wrong.
Anonymous asked: I find it amusing that you feel the need to resort to crudity and vulgarity.
Big day tomorrow!
I’m going to:
call my caseworker one last time, to see if she’s managed to remove her fucking head from her ass
go get my shot, which pretty much guarantees some xmas day pointless lactation! So, like if any of you happen to birth a messiah that day, I can totally be your wet nurse
pick up wine. You’re right, it would be more exciting if I was drinking...
SHE: I don’t worry about people thinking I’m some slut.
ME: That’s good. I am an adherent to the Playboy definition of ‘slut’ - someone that lives their life with the notion that pleasure is good for you.
SHE: Oh, I just tell people that I’ve had hundreds of boyfriends.
ME: That works, too.
Freelance Offer Of the Day
Got an offer to do some proofing on Engrish script, and make it sound like English.
However, the editor on this job also asked me to send him a copy of my passport, or driver’s license. Or more accurately, my Paasapor, and my Divers’ License.
Connie Stevens singing ‘Teenager In Love’ on the Muppet Show may well be the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.
And I’ve seen Nancy Grace.
“As a general rule, librarians are a kick in the pants socially, often full of...”
– My mother would agree.
— Bill Hall, editorial page editor, Lewiston (Idaho) Tribune, Sept. 9, 2001. (via lostbetweenthepages)
There are “boring old poops” in every profession.
(via librarianista)
You should see them dance.
(via pocketcontents)
Many thanks to the nice person that left their wi-fi unsecured. You make me so, so happy.
BRB, getting porn.
So, I was trying to take a picture of me in my new hat, so I could show you all how douchey I looked. But, they kept coming out blurry. At first, I blamed the phone. Then, I remembered, I hadn’t taken any cogentin today.
That might explain it.
D’ oh.
In today’s good news, I seem to be over the worst of the side effects to the Risperidone.
However, the ensuing touchdown dance I did celebrating that, I managed to fall over and bash my hip off the radiator. I’m at least hoping for some cool bruising, so as to excuse posting pictures of my ass.
LIBRARIAN: *surprised to see me at a little-used pod of desks in a corner of the reference section* Oh, hello there. Didn’t expect to see anyone back here.
ME: Well, it’s quiet so, I can get some stuff done.
LIBRARIAN: Oh, working on a book? Another Christopher Paul Curtis?
ME: *looks back down at NDNTheatre* Ummmm, yes, something like that, I suppose. Not sure I could ever be...
We don't say "dating," we say "talking." Instead...
There’s a difference between ‘fucking’ and ‘making love’? Were you to see videos of me ‘fucking’, and other vids of me ‘making love’, I’m pretty fucking sure you won’t be able to tell the difference. You may not equate spanking, tying each other up, and calling each other abso-fucking-lutely the filthiest names possible with...
So, is Tumblr barfing for everyone, or am I just special again?
Yes, skibinskaya, I use the Flock.
And, I love it. The rest of the internet just hasn’t figured out how awesome it is. As with many things, I am ahead of the curve.
SHE: So, you going to post any of those ‘jailhouse’ journals you kept?
ME: I considered it, but then I remembered my mother knows about Tumblr, and sometimes, I just don’t think I need to share everything with her.
SHE: Can you at least post the bit about the food? Or the leg hair?
ME: I’ll think about it.
And as I was promising to consider it, my roommate from my 3...
Dear Skibinskipedia:
I’m sure that Chrome’s clean lines, and seeming simplicity appeal to the designer in you. I, on the other hand, DEMAND bells, whistles, and as much ornamentation as possible in a browser. It’s probably related to my ADD, or something. That’s why I like Flock.
*waits patiently for deluge of “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU” mail*
Thank you, unlocked wi-fi! Finally updated Lappy to Chrome.
Yeah, I hate Chrome, but it’s a lot more useful than the outdated IE I was running.
So, Nextdoor Neighbor Theatre is born.
Sort of….
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/NDNTheatre
Goddamn, but you have all been busy.
Anyway, I am moved into a $300 a month closet, with attached bathroom and WORLD’S TINIEST SINK. I’m walking distance to my shrink, to my group sessions, and generally have no excuse for any further shenanigans. My neighbours are connoisseurs of shitty weed, but also fight incessantly. There was a fire the first night I moved into my building,...